Category Archives: kids
A Postcard from Reality: Wish You Were Here!
Sunset over Bribie Island last weekend.
The most FAQ in any interview I do – I love saying that as if it’s a regular occurrence (which it is, of course…ehem) – is “how do you balance performing and family life?”
My answer to that is:
a) I don’t. Not with any real success, anyway. It’s a bit of a mess, really; however…
b) The way we cope is by embracing the seasonality of it. That is, there are seasons of insane busy-ness, followed by seasons of down-time.
Right now were in the downtime season. It’s all about the family, which I am so, so, SO enjoying. There is the odd gig here and there, but after the crazy months of festival fever at the start of 2012, it’s been so lovely lately to just shut myself off from the world of comedy, social media, blogging and the rest for a bit and just focus on soaking up my dear lil family. Well, between sicknesses (I am battling a mo-fo of a virus as I type).
Mothers Day with my grandma.
My kiddly-winks hand balling up a storm at Gran’ma and Gran’pa’s
Flowers and tea, oh my!
My little bunny!
Mister 8 asked for a soccer birthday cake. So Miss 9 and I – with the help of a number of tiny toys we scraped up – delivered.
The kids surprised us with a dress-up play, with them playing da da da da: me and hubby. Note “my” neck-brace and “hubby’s” bible. Hehe. Perfection.
Anyway, just wanted to say thank you so much if you’ve been checking in here for more regular updates; please forgive me my absence, I – and the fam – have just been craving this season something chronic round here. I’ll be back soon.
x
Postcard from Destination Burn Out
My monkey.
So apparently I’m the only one who’s surprised by my collapse, physical and emotional, this week. I feel stupid to have not seen it coming, all I can say in my defence is that when it comes to anticipating the inevitable burn out resulting from this mad past few months, I simply did not have time to think about it.
A closing night celebration with some of the Unexpected crew and friends!
With 2012 thus far comprising not one, but three trips to Adelaide, including a month-long stint for Fringe Fest, followed by a short performance run in Brissie with a two and a bit week chaser in Melbourne, I look back on all this nuttiness and want to slap my forehead: of course! All this time I was on a crash collision towards a nervous breakdown! Duh!
Anyhoo, it’s only of some comfort to know that this implosion is justified.
The good news is that I AM BACK WITH MY KIDLETS!
AAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!
My word, was I a sad sack in Melbourne or what? I don’t know if that came across in this here ole blog, but seriously, I could not snap myself out of my constant state of forlorn – even amidst the wonder that is Melbourne itself, dozens of amazing comedy shows, nice reviews, a few sold out performances, catching up with beautiful friends – even THEN, I just couldn’t lift myself out of the hazy fog of sorry sads that was missing my babies.
My beautiful peeps behind An Unexpected Variety Show, stage manager Belle and pianist Matt, helping me hold it together onstage and off!
As a result I am currently taking a breather to:
a) cuddle the living shizz out of them. I adore them. Even when they are throwing tanties, pushing my buttons and shrieking to the high heavens above, I want to eat them up.
b) reassess how the heck I can make this performing/family combo work. Because after this past couple of months, I am certain that I simply cannot go on being away from them regularly. It kills.
So yes. Time to catch up on sleep, housework, cuddles…basically trying to remember how the heck to be a domestic goddess again, only to recall that oh, that’s right, I never was. Hmmmm. Instead, I shall try to find my rhythm as the dodgy housewife I am. I baked a packet mix chocolate cake yesterday. That has to be a start.
And time to decide…
…where to from here?
From Standing Ovations To Stomach Viruses: An Unexpected Variety Show
Me and my siblings. Can you see the resemblance?
This weekend was personally epic on several levels.
1. It was my hubby’s and my 10th wedding anniversary.
The hubbster and I at the Powerhouse.
2. We celebrated in a last-minute hotel splurge in the city, to coincide with…
3. Closing night of my brief but delish run of “An Unexpected Variety Show” at Brisbane Powerhouse…
I do believe the first person I saw perform in this theatre was Tim Minchin, now that I think of it! Cool.
Hamming it up in the dressing room pre-show. I love having a greenroom. Even in the absence of M&Ms, champagne and Oompah Loompas, it makes me feel special.
…a show which was:
- nicely packed!
- interpreted by the INCREDIBLE Ruth Sullivan (who I adore more and more each time we work together…so much excitement is happening with this partnership, I can’t wait to spill more news soon once things get locked in!)
- attended for the very first time by my gorgeous siblings, Ang and James.
Post-show catch up with two of my favourite people on earth.
Moi, James and Angeline. LURVE.
Neither had seen the show before (you might have gotten that from the “first time” reference, however it was so significant to me having them there that I am intent on driving the point home!) “Unexpected” has a very key thread in it about my mother, OUR mother, who very sadly passed away in 1984 – James was 10, I was 5 and Ang was 2. To share her part of the story with any audience is emotional at the best of times – sometimes excruciatingly so – but to perform it last night knowing that her other two children were right there with me in the room was just…something else. I can’t even do justice to what that meant, I will simply say that it really transformed the show for me as I performed it. So incredibly special.
I felt by far the most free onstage EVER last night – pre-show as I peeked through the curtains and saw the theatre nearly full of buzzing, chatty people, I did such a happy joy dance! And I honestly think it was THE BEST performance I’ve ever done of the show; despite the projector not working at the end (bugger! But them’s the breaks…) it was just so much fun. And what a crowd…so giving, so into it, and even willing to give a girl a standing ovation. Love.
I will treasure last night’s memory for as long as I have my basic functions.
The other transformational element in the show right now is of course, having it interpreted by Ruth. Oh my word. A friend emailed me this morning – a friend, I might add, who has seen the show I believe four times now? – and told me that “the combination of the signing and your Mum’s song was magical – one of the more fascinating and touching movements of theatre I have seen on any stage.”
Oh, it moved me too!
After the show we had some fantastic times catching up with friends and family, then hubby and I hit our hotel room and lived out our rockstar fantasies: otherwise known as making 2.30am room service calls. I swear, paying $14 for a slice of pavlova sure makes it taste amazeballs.
Our utopian vision was disrupted around 7am by an early check-out call: our little boys had been sadly struck through the night by a nasty stomach bug, thus we bid adieu to our rockstar reality, dashed back home and spent the remainder of the day cleaning up bodily fluids.
Which, ten years of married life and a heck of a lot of water under the bridge later, seems strangely poetic. 
x
Adelaide Fringe Festival Tour Diary: THE END!
Barrio, a very bizarre, cool, surreal and rocking art party destination during the Fringe. I couldn't decide if I loved it or was just spun out by it. Not that the two are mutually exclusive...
It is FINISHED!
Woohoo!
I have been busy finishing it, packing it up, digesting it and recovering from it. So here are a few pics and notes of point from the final leg.
More Fringe in the Mall giggage.
My poor little dude back home tore a ligament in his shoulder. Coulda been much worse, but still...wah.
Caught up with this lovely gent who remembered being pulled up onstage with me LAST year in Adelaide! Hehe. Magic moments.
Onstage at Shimmering West: thanks for the photo on twitter, Jade Kops!
The final gig was so bizarre…completely sold out, people standing (which I don’t really like, only because I feel sorry as I know how much I would hate standing for an hour!) and so I was so pumped…only to have one table of people up the back talking through the entire first quarter of the show. Now as a stand-up I’ve had plenty of experiences with this happening and am fine with handling it, only this show is NOT a stand-up comedy show. It’s much more theatrical, in fact I’ve had people even say that they would classify it as a solo theatre show. Point is, I felt a bit reluctant to break the theatre of the show and just address them. But then, after about 15-20 minutes in, I just couldn’t go on. “Excuse me,” I called out, “I’m sorry, but why would you come to a show like this and talk through the entire thing?” The rest of the audience murmured agreement and some of them even clapped. “Please,” I said to the shadows at the back, “if you want to stay and watch, I will welcome you, I will even hug you at the end, but if you would rather talk to each other then PLEASE JUST LEAVE!”
The crowd clapped which made me feel so much better…I was so mad at myself for letting it get to me, but it just did. They did shut up for the rest of the show, though I could still see their heads moving up the back (apparently over a rather impressive number of wine glasses) the whole time. Finally around the 45 minute mark they left the building. Phew! I believe at the end of the show I may have even uttered a very loud and public thank you to them for doing so by way of expletive. Ah, rude people. You may suck, but you really can have a knack for drawing an audience and a performer even closer together.
Bless.
Taking the leap!
The whole trip – indeed, any performing undertaking – has been a total leap into the unknown, or the semi-known or the known-enough-to-hope-for-the-best-but-with-no-guarantees and luckily, it seems to have come up pretty damn beautifully.
Ah.
And now we are back home, decompressing, reuniting and drawing breath before the next big leap.
Thanks for playing along.
xxx
Adelaide Tour Diary: Hahndorf, Toddler Tantrums & Standing Room Only
His royal highness, moments before the lightning struck.
Yesterday we took the troops up to Hahndorf, a super cute German town just outside of Adelaide. We’ve been averaging one excursion out of the house each day which thus far, has been perfect.
On this particular day however, Mister Three – and in all honesty, Mummy too – hit a wall of “fringe fest fatigue” and it all went downhill pretty damn quickly. What ensued was a full limbs-flailing, lungs peeling, strangers smiling in bemusement (at least I hope it was bemusement and not schadenfreude: DAMN I got to use that word in an actual legit German context!) and a brisk walk back to the car, where the little dude promptly put himself straight to sleep.
But not before we snapped some pretty Hahndorf thangs!
Ah well. We are only days away from the finish line and I guess one or two epic tantrums is kinda inevitable. That makes me feel better. Especially when I say it in a Schwarzenegger accent. INEVITABLE.
Works, huh?
The gigs have been going beautifully; Tuesday was so sold out it was kinda ridiculous, some folks had to stand up for the whole show! Such a wonderful feeling; I feel almost guilty about it as I know so many amazingly talented folks who are struggling for audience numbers this year. As those of you who’ve followed since my Melbourne Fringe escapades last year well know, I know exactly what it is to be performing your heart out to three, four or five people (some nights 100% of my audience were staff of the venue!) so I certainly don’t feel like I’ve been on easy street my whole career. But this season, I have had a great one. And I am GREATLY GRATEFUL. Full of grate!
Last night’s Titters saw an improv song about a beautiful couple together for 33 years (!) who met when she cut his hair at a salon. Agh, I love hearing snippets of people’s stories! The song that followed was all “let me cut my way into your heart” and something like:
“after I’ve cut your hair,
I’ll cut off other things just so,
because it’s called marriage baby,
don’t you know?”
Ah, bless.
Then when one of the line-up comics couldn’t make the show due to hers running late, I came back onstage to finish off the show with another improv song. This time we found the couple who’d been together for the least amount of time…a lovely couple called Debbie and Dave. (Well in fairness, Dave wasn’t there so I am assuming on his part a degree of loveliness). Turns out Dave is a wharfie and they met online. Again, the song is so fuzzy in my head – as all improv stuff I ever do always is, it’s almost like a dream I can’t quite remember – but it seemed to go well and ooooh yes, last night’s show was videoed! So will share that with you if and when I can. Unless, in the words of Shrek, “I can’t find you or I forget.”
With some of my fave Adelaide ladeeez at the Fringe Artists Bar after Eurowision the other night!
Tonight is my second-last show of “Unexpected” – Saturday’s is sold out so if you’re in Radelaide and want to come, tonight is your last chance to come! Tix here.
Also the show is getting some beautiful audience reviews over at talkfringe if you care to check em out.
Oh and finally, if you’re in Brisbane and wanna win some tix to my upcoming Brisbane Powerhouse shows, you can do so with the lovely crew over at BrisStyle here!
Love, light and tantrum-free bliss-balls.
xx
Adelaide Fringe Festival Tour Diary: A Quick Snap-Happy Update!
This amazing woman was hilarious onboard the Tour of the Unexpected Bus. I love her!
Crazy times, dear Tour Diary, crazy times.
Highlights?
Helmut and Jenny. The J is now silent.
- Representing Germany in the most fabulously funny and trash-tacular “EUROWISION!” alongside luminaries such as the Axis of Awesome (where I told them about my very own parody of their parody), Dave Callan (who I met by almost literally falling into his arms upon leaving the stage), Jason Chong and umpteen other cheese-tacular talents. SOO SOO fun! My mate Leon – rechristened “Helmut” for the festivities” joined me in a little Deutsch duo. And it was filmed! Will share it for sure once I’ve got my hands on the footage. Best crowd ever, definitely a brilliant note to finish Sunday night on!
L-R Funny felines Urzila Carlson, Juliet Meyers, Sally-Anne Hayward, Jen Brister and moi.
Juliet, me and Urzila having some quality time in the Artists' Bar.
- Finally enjoying the wonders of the Artists Bar at Fringe. I’ve been so good looking after myself this past few weeks (early to bed – well, as early as late night gigs can accommodate – having my multivitamins, eating well, drinking tons of water) that I haven’t done the socialising thing, well, at all really. So this week as I am seeing the light at the end of the highly enjoyable tunnel, I have finally let loose a little. This particular night saw some of the funniest ladies I know carving it up together on the dance floor big-time – in between cries of “oh, my back!” “ow, I have a stitch!” We aren’t 19 anymore, clearly.
BEACH! YAAAHHH!!! I'd also like to take this opportunity to point out that this is likely to be the only photo of me in my swimmers you are EVER likely to see. Online or otherwise.
- Beaching it up at Glenelg. So beautiful, my first time there ever. If Adelaide is cementing its place in my heart, then Glenelg is the blow-torch speeding up the drying process.
Ella has turned into my permanent hair and makeup consultant.
- Ella-time. So loving having more time with her, she’s begged me and begged me to come see the show again so will be there (hopefully not front and centre again!) tonight. Which, as a bonus, is SOLD OUT! I have a good feeling about this one… 
Only 3 shows left! AGH! How did this happen?
Adelaide Fringe Festival Tour Diary: Approaching The Final Strait
Taking Mister 3 to the playground just pre-show, while my daughter and Keli, our fab au-pair, did Zumba! I just pretended that all mummies wear cowboy boots and quiffs.
I got up yesterday and looked at my ticket sales and it hit me: only FIVE SHOWS LEFT?! What?! How on earth did that happen? I suppose the gazillion or so guest spots have distracted me from the reality that this roller coaster I’m on is actually coming to an end soon. I will not go quietly.
This week has felt a lot more settled. Somebody told me yesterday that until you’ve done a month-long festival, you can’t really understand the rhythm of it. I guess the marathon comparison continues. Though in the spirit of full disclosure, I shouldn’t even utter phrases that imply there is any possibility of me ever actually running an actual marathon. Never. It’s in writing. NEVER!
But I HAVE found my rhythm. As have the kids. To the point where it now feels like this is not a novelty chapter of life at all, but just our life. Ella (who is being home schooled this month) is rocking it, getting her work done at a most impressive pace so that we can then venture out and explore Adelaide, Cassidy is becoming an avid fan of street theatre as well as becoming stunningly accident prone – the poor little guy got his first black eye this week, not even from any exciting travel tale, just from catching the corner of my bed with his cheekbone. Poor dear. Okay, so perhaps it’s not a rhythm that is particularly painless for him, but he is consistently injuring himself, and I did read in a parenting book once that consistency is paramount. So there’s that.
In brief:
Can anybody spy a metaphor here?
- We have explored playgrounds, playgroups and play-(insert something here…) a-plenty!
- We sadly missed my hubby’s birthday, as he missed mine due to the Fringe. Sigh. We are gonna make up for it when we are back together with our own homemade double b’day party of sorts, but in the meantime, the kids did what they had to do: they made a cake anyway.
And then proved their love by eating the shizz out of it.
- the gigs have been going really beautifully. I have improvised many, MANY songs. I have failed myself in actually documenting these properly so as to remember them…let’s see, there was:
a) the musician/artist couple who met while working in an organic food shop who inspired a ditty called “Organic Romance”;
b) the musician husband and primary school teacher wife, married 43 years, who, when I asked them what the secret of staying together was, the husband, Brenton, without even blinking an eyelid yelled out “Regular sex!” Such a beautiful crowd at this one; I do recall one line that went something like:
“If you were real estate, I’d want to buy and not be rentin,
Come on baby be my wife, come over here to Brenton.”
I can get shamefully proud of myself for rhyming sometimes.
c) in last night’s show something happened that has never happened before…I like to find out from the crowd which couple has been together the longest. Well for the first time ever, we had two couples battling it out, both had been together 33 years! When it came to the crunch, one couple pipped the other by three measly months, so the improv song was all theirs. A chemist and a materials consultant (still don’t understand what that even means!); at the end of the show the runner-up couple told me that they wished they had just said they’d been together for 33 years and 11 months so they could hear their song. She even offered me some suggestions on angles to take…hehe. I love it!
- have also been a little freaked out by realising how quickly my upcoming shows at Brisbane Powerhouse and Melbourne International Comedy Festival are approaching. AGH! I have been so Fringe-ified down here that I’ve been a little laxer than normal on getting the word out. So in the name of being onto it, Brissie and/or Melbourne peeps, if you would like to come, PLEASE DO! Wow, that was surprisingly simple.
No, okay, here are the deets…
Brisbane Powerhouse, March 30-31st, 2 shows only! You can buy tickets here.
Melbourne International Comedy Festival, The Butterfly Club, April 10-22! You can buy tickets here.
And of course, Adelaide, you’ve still got 5 chances left to come to my show here at the Fringe! Tickets available here.
Hope you are well wherever you are and whatever you’re doing. Unless you’re doing something mean, in which case, I hope you come down with at least a mild head cold.
Salada!
x
Adelaide Fringe Festival Tour Diary: A Personal Lifetime Highlight
Backstage before the show.
Not much comedy in this post, but I just want to share it for what it is. Anybody who has seen “An Unexpected Variety Show” will understand why the prospect of having my daughter in the audience for the very first time was one that filled me with a plethora of emotions, from anxiety to sappiness and just about everything in between.
Despite feeling incredibly tense onstage for the first half of the show (despite my suggestions that a side seat might be a little less confronting for her strutting show-pony of a mother, she stuck to her guns and sat front row, centre stage), having my girl there was just…overwhelming.
Whenever I sing “World’s Greatest Love Song”, I sing it to her every night, but last night, I did so literally. My beautiful little girl.
I should interrupt this by saying that I do not think my show is suitable for kids in general! The only reason I let Ella come along last night is because:
a) she already knows the full story and I’d already talked through some of the challenging themes in it with her;
b) she understands that if she comes to a show with some bad language in it, of which there is a bit in mine, she has to prove that she’s mature enough to handle that without thinking it means she can go around spouting it from her own mouth; and
c) it felt right.
Anyhoo, at the end of the show, I said to the audience “This is a monumental night for me because my daughter is actually here in the audience.” As I spoke it out loud I really started to break up and the crowd clapped even louder. I looked down at her beautiful little face looking up at me, and put my arm out to see if she wanted to join me; after a moment’s hesitation she jumped up onstage and in a scene not unlike that of a finale of any number of romantic comedies, we threw our arms around each other with wondrous love from the crowd.
It was perfect.
We then went backstage and proceeded to bawl our eyes out…and laugh…and bawl some more together.
It was one of the most magical times ever.
We then ventured out for a Mummy daughter date in Adelaide, down through the Garden of Unearthly Delights…
The Garden.
…and then off into the city for a gelato and a hot chocolate.
The luscious array of choccies we DIDN'T succumb to on our quest for liquid heaven.
We rang my hubby and told him all about it in the middle of our girly night. I told him that I’ve just realised that really, whatever the heck happens from this point onwards, in the Fringe and in life, just having shared tonight with Ella is really the pinnacle.
Truly.
Adelaide Fringe Festival Tour Diary: On Touring With Kids
My little mouse spotting a poster! I love how excited she is about the show, soooo cute (though she would hate me calling her "cute" in public. So please. No further.)
Many people ask me about how I manage to do this performing/touring stuff with kids. Or rather, they just say nice things about how cool it is that I can. Well, most people.
(BTW when my darling box office commander-in-chief relayed this guy’s comments, I was honestly, mostly amused. But I can’t help but point out that in all the illustrious seven or so years of my comedy career thus far, I have NEVER heard any such question aimed at a performer who also happens to be a dad.)
The truth is, I couldn’t do any of this without having my hubby behind me 110%. I am so lucky that he does not see the world through the same lactation-coloured glasses as some (yes, lactation is now its own colour, I’ve just decided it). I truly believe that mothers can still live out crazy and amazing adventures and pursue big dreams, of course I do! But I believe it’s a heck of a lot easier – and better for everybody – when your chief partner-in-crime feels the same way. I take no credit for that at all: I just happen to have shacked up with somebody who doesn’t see gender as an issue in terms of how our family is run. I am LUCKY. I know it.
Plus, in practical terms, it certainly doesn’t hurt to have the world’s greatest au-pair onboard the team. This is my first experience ever with an au-pair (in the past I have hired somebody to come and babysit as I go perform or had live-out help come in while I’m away) but this arrangement, provided that we can find the perfect person as seems to have happened this time, is by FAR the best. I love her. I seriously don’t know how I’m going to say goodbye! Five stars!
But yes, point is, as much as I’d like to take it, the reality is that I don’t really deserve any credit for performing, touring and all the rest with kids, because the only way I can do any of this is because of a tremendous level of support from other people. Truly.
Here endeth the sermon.
On a lighter and more “dear Diary” type note, we had the most wonderful time today, catching up with some friends for a play-date in a park by the beach in a cute little part of Adelaide called Semaphore. This time just hanging out with my kidlets in another city, exploring together, socialising and making the most of our new surrounds is such a rocking perk of the touring thing. I hope we can keep it going!
Catching up with friends for a Radelaidian play-date!
Then I swept little Miss 9 into the city where she came to see her first “mummy-featured” show of the Fringe thus far, that being Theatresports: Clash of the Titans!
Improvising onstage!
My wonderful improv team: The Wynter of Our Disco Tent!
Such a lovely night.
It’s so cool too when we bump into people out in Adelaide who’ve seen my show and approach us to chat about it; Ella loves it when people tell her that they saw her onstage (if you’ve seen it you’ll know what I mean); she beams and beams. I love it that she gets to be part of seeing how it’s connecting with people too.
Oh and btw, not sure if you’ve noticed but I stopped writing my “today’s gigs” on here as I COULDN’T SUSTAIN IT. So ridiculous. Even writing them down makes me tired. Luckily I’ve gotten the majority of the “five-gigs-a-day” type days out of the way now, so back to more sane programming from hereon in. Hmmm, hang on, let me just do a quick tally:
56 gigs in total (that’s right, it’s increased).
27 gigs done thus far.
29 gigs left!
NEARLY HALFWAY, PEOPLE!
Oh gees, I kinda want to cry.
Spotted in Adelaide today.
Adelaide Fringe Festival Tour Diary: Bad News and Caring Too Much
Trying my hand at "Skee Pong" on set with Jason Chong at Festival Fishbowl
As I was heading into the Light Hotel this avo to get ready for my show, I heard some news that rocked me.
A family member – a distant family member, but one whom I have extremely positive memories of from childhood – died. I was so shocked, not just by the news itself, but also by how very upset I felt about it. And selfishly, I was also more than a little worried about being cool by the time the curtain rose, so to speak.
For…upset or not, the show must go on.
I have had to perform before under circumstances where I was deeply sad but still needed to make people laugh. It was two days after my friend Chris Daniel had died and I was flown down to Sydney to perform in a filmed comedy spot. Prior to Chris’ sudden passing, I was elated thinking about this gig. But after, I was terrified I was going to get onstage and completely lose it. I didn’t. But looking at the footage of that show afterwards, I could see the sadness on my face. And it was one of the best gigs I ever did. Because…I just didn’t give a shit about it anymore.
Tonight was my first ever sold-out show; again, a gig I was completely over the moon about prior to hearing about my family’s loss. Only after? Well, it wasn’t that I didn’t care as such, but in processing the news, it certainly put everything in perspective again.
Really. This does not matter. How tonight goes, whether there are reviewers, audience members, promoters, whatever. In the grand scheme of things, it does not matter.
The people you love matter.
Please allow me my cheesy musings.
Earlier today, during an appearance on the Festival Fishbowl online show (which seriously made me want to make an online show so badly. Just add it to the to-do list, imaginary PA Beryl!) Sam Simmons made some comments about not caring about comedy that really unnerved me.
On the Festival Fishbowl set.
Jason Chong and Sam Simmons getting comfy.
When he asked me why, I told him I thought it was because I had gotten to that place of not caring (post car crash especially), but then when things started going well the caring started to creep back in…listening to him go on about it made me wonder whether I was now at a point where I was actually caring too much all over again. About the wrong things, that is.
But after this afternoon?
I think I’m all good.
Checking out some street theatre in the mall.
