Sunset over Bribie Island last weekend.

The most FAQ in any interview I do – I love saying that as if it’s a regular occurrence (which it is, of course…ehem) – is “how do you balance performing and family life?”

My answer to that is:

a) I don’t. Not with any real success, anyway. It’s a bit of a mess, really; however…
b) The way we cope is by embracing the seasonality of it. That is, there are seasons of insane busy-ness, followed by seasons of down-time.

Right now were in the downtime season. It’s all about the family, which I am so, so, SO enjoying. There is the odd gig here and there, but after the crazy months of festival fever at the start of 2012, it’s been so lovely lately to just shut myself off from the world of comedy, social media, blogging and the rest for a bit and just focus on soaking up my dear lil family. Well, between sicknesses (I am battling a mo-fo of a virus as I type).

Mothers Day with my grandma.

My kiddly-winks hand balling up a storm at Gran’ma and Gran’pa’s

Flowers and tea, oh my!

My little bunny!

Mister 8 asked for a soccer birthday cake. So Miss 9 and I – with the help of a number of tiny toys we scraped up – delivered.

The kids surprised us with a dress-up play, with them playing da da da da: me and hubby. Note “my” neck-brace and “hubby’s” bible. Hehe. Perfection.

Anyway, just wanted to say thank you so much if you’ve been checking in here for more regular updates; please forgive me my absence, I – and the fam – have just been craving this season something chronic round here. I’ll be back soon.

x

Anyway, no need for sympathy (no really: I’ve given myself more than my quota in this here pity party, I’m bout to crack open the Poor-Me Pinyada, it’s gonna be awesome) but just wanted to explain why I’ve been a little light on the social media side of late. I will get there.

In the meantime, please enjoy these rather wonderful linkedy links.

Hope you are well, whatever you are doing.

x

LOVE this post from Seth Godin on the silliness of constantly reconsidering decisions.

Spending that creative energy wondering about the plan merely subtracts from the passion you could put into making it succeed.

Adore this poem.

Candy Bowers is a kick ass woman after my own heart. I already wrote a gushy bit of blather about her show Australian after seeing it at MICF if you recall; well, she has some shows coming up and da da da da da! To get the buzz going she is organising some dance flash mobs! I am honestly rather excited at the serendipity for me selfishly (because it is all about me, daaaaahlings) as I’d literally just written down a bunch of things I wish to do in this life, one of which was to be part of a dance flash mob. I am doing it. Come shake your booty with me.

I know the blogosphere has already been all over this but I want to repost for any who missed it. I really love Eden and her blog; her honesty is just awe-inspiring and her writing consistently rocks me; this post is a perfect example. I did all but hold my hubby at fork-point to make him read it with me.

In fact, her post inspired us big-time to start thinking about the big picture of how we want our life to look. Nothing’s planned yet, it’s all just the fun of dreaming up options but this site certainly got my mind awhirl…

10 Tips for a Less Hectic Life: yes please. Damn I hate myself sometimes for being such a sucker for lifehacky stuff. But there tis. It’s just who I am, folks.

Finally a shameless plug; next Monday I’ll be in my beloved Byron Bay for a special Mother’s Day themed comedy show. I am truly stoked to get back there. Northern NSW really is just balm for the soul.

My little rockstar with his bestie, cousin Noah.

Please forgive the slack blogging of late. Friday just gone, both myself and the little Cass-meister were in ANOTHER FREAKING CAR CRASH. Ugh. I cannot believe it. I do confess I believe I that mere moments after impact I yelled out the exact words “Are you f****ing kidding me?!”

Seriously. Really? Grrr.

The good news is it was not nearly as traumatising as the head-on collision of 2010; this one was a pretty seriously violent rear-ender, us having the back of our car taken out by a poor young p-plater. I really felt bad for her; she made a stupid mistake, seemed genuinely gutted about it, especially when she saw me pull littlest out of the car, I stood there in disbelief while she started crying and I involuntarily gave her a hug, trying to comfort her and Cass together. Mother Hen is apparently my default “in shock” setting.

Anyhoo, it tops off quite a crazy year thus far.  I am sore and bracing myself for more physio shortly. Aye carumba.

I will return to my regular blogging schedule shortly.

In the meantime, please entertain yourself with these stunning displays of my Draw Something genius.

You’re welcome.

Dicaprio!

Frodo!

Vampire! MOIHAHAHAHA!

British-ish teapot spotted this week.

Whenever there’s a call out for applications for amazing opportunities my insides kinda digest themselves in a fit of excitement. Most of which I never actually apply for (time, money, realistic thoughts of the logistical nightmare of sorting out family arrangements) but the simple prospect of possibility gets my blood pumping in a way I rather enjoy.

Anyhoo, I tell you all this because the British Council’s Realise Your Dream Awards are currently open for submissions – so if that tickles your fancy, hop right on it, I say! I was having a little fantasy traipse through their website and came across this extremely charming video made by one of last year’s winners, writer Briony Stewart.

Besides being incredibly clever, sweet and clearly displaying her very impressive talents, this one part really hit a nerve…towards the end of the video, there is a piece of text that reads “I want to be the best children’s book writer and illustrator…” followed by a pause.

“The best children’s book writer and illustrator what?” I thought. “In Australia? In the world? In the Commonwealth? Where?”

Then it came…

“…the best children’s book writer and illustrator I can be.“

Beautiful.

My monkey.

So apparently I’m the only one who’s surprised by my collapse, physical and emotional, this week. I feel stupid to have not seen it coming, all I can say in my defence is that when it comes to anticipating the inevitable burn out resulting from this mad past few months, I simply did not have time to think about it.

A closing night celebration with some of the Unexpected crew and friends!

With 2012 thus far comprising not one, but three trips to Adelaide, including a month-long stint for Fringe Fest, followed by a short performance run in Brissie with a two and a bit week chaser in Melbourne, I look back on all this nuttiness and want to slap my forehead: of course! All this time I was on a crash collision towards a nervous breakdown! Duh!

Anyhoo, it’s only of some comfort to know that this implosion is justified.

The good news is that I AM BACK WITH MY KIDLETS!

AAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!

My word, was I a sad sack in Melbourne or what? I don’t know if that came across in this here ole blog, but seriously, I could not snap myself out of my constant state of forlorn – even amidst the wonder that is Melbourne itself, dozens of amazing comedy shows, nice reviews, a few sold out performances, catching up with beautiful friends – even THEN, I just couldn’t lift myself out of the hazy fog of sorry sads that was missing my babies.

My beautiful peeps behind An Unexpected Variety Show, stage manager Belle and pianist Matt, helping me hold it together onstage and off!

As a result I am currently taking a breather to:

a) cuddle the living shizz out of them. I adore them. Even when they are throwing tanties, pushing my buttons and shrieking to the high heavens above, I want to eat them up.

b) reassess how the heck I can make this performing/family combo work. Because after this past couple of months, I am certain that I simply cannot go on being away from them regularly. It kills.

So yes. Time to catch up on sleep, housework, cuddles…basically trying to remember how the heck to be a domestic goddess again, only to recall that oh, that’s right, I never was. Hmmmm. Instead, I shall try to find my rhythm as the dodgy housewife I am. I baked a packet mix chocolate cake yesterday. That has to be a start.

And time to decide…

…where to from here?

The roller coaster is almost at its end.

I am utterly exhausted in each and every way. I heard some terribly sad news today about a friend of mine from Canada who passed away suddenly a few days ago; I went into shock followed by sadness followed immediately by what I can only describe as emotional disconnection, my body/psyche knowing full well that in the midst of this insanity, I need to put any kind of “dealing” on hold until next week. I am constantly reminded that a) life really is an unexpected variety show; and b) there really is no need to worry about my career, because in the grand scheme of things, it really just ain’t all that important.

Many epiphanies have resulted from this entire festival experience; I have not yet processed them all in any shape or form so will leave their dissection for later, but for now, a debrief.

SHOWS I’VE SEEN

Sam Simmons’ “About the Weather” – loved the concept, I think I spent most of the show just taking in his plethora of ideas, rather than laughing out loud. The show is so ridiculously clever and unique: I think I kinda love him.

Tim Key’s “Masterslut” – again, I didn’t laugh out loud terribly much (perhaps this common thread is thus more of a reflection on me and my festival fatigue) but he is an original for sure. Poetry, multimedia and a bath. Dig.

Tim Key sauntering before the audience in Masterslut.

Set List – I absolutely LOVED this show as I knew I would. Again, improvised stuff always makes me laugh so much more than scripted; I’m not quite sure why, other than to say that it’s something about the magic of knowing that it’s a never-to-be-repeated thing. Particularly brilliant the night I saw it were Mark Watson, Marcel LeCont and Canada’s own John Dorr, who looked so relaxed and happy to be up there (a good lesson!) I could have watched him make stuff up for hours.

The Horne Section – AGAIN! Yes, I could not keep away. They just inspire me so much, I feel like throwing a tantrum until someone brings me a giant improv comedy band of my very own. I shall call it “pony”.

Simon Amstell onstage with The Horne Section

While the nights have been packed with performing and spectating, I have spent my days trying to catch up on much needed zeds, writing new stuff – including some sketches for my next show, whatever it may turn out to be! – catching up with friends and strolling the streets of beautiful Melbourne.

Just another cute Melbourne alley...

Dame Edna Place! I would say it made me "inexplicably" happy but I think it's technically explicable.

Much window shopping has been done. And photography of said window shopping. You're welcome.

Cafe shot

The shows have been beautiful for the most part; we’ve had a couple of slow nights but fortunately each time the crowd has proven it’s not quantity but quality, proving rather lovely. And now I find myself with only ONE show left…woohoo! I’m so excited about tomorrow, it’s already selling solidly, so should be a rather nice one to go out on. I am very much looking forward to giving it my all and then putting the show to bed for a little while. I am in desperate need for some rejuvenation time and am so so so pumped to write the next one!

The stars behind the scenes of "Unexpected!" Tech and stage manager, Eden and Belle!

Thanks for following the journey!

xxx

P.S. Yes I am still missing my kids so badly I’m ready to tear off somebody’s limb if I don’t get to cuddle them soon. So please, if you see me, just hide your appendages. You have been warned.

At the risk of sounding like the nutbag of fatigued emotion that I am right now, let me tell you that while the performances have been lovely, I’ve been soaking up the sights of Melbourne and enjoying a number of most excellent comedy shows, it’s all through a rather pathetic lens of “I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I MISS THE KIDS.”

I had a dream the other night that I was cuddling them all in my bed, then I woke up and realised they weren’t there. They weren’t even close to there. And it’s my choice to come here that’s put us in this predicament.

While I feel extremely lucky on the one hand to have the practical ease that comes with travelling solo, my heart feels like it’s being shredded. They themselves are fine. My hubby is doing a stellar job, we have some extra help in the home front to keep the cupboard full, the house clean and the lunches packed, the kids are doing great, it’s just I have really realised so fully how much I hate being separated. HATE it.

Ugh. End of vent.

On the upside I went to one of my favourite shows of the fest so far last night, The Horne Section.

If you are in Melbourne and are able, you MUST MUST MUST see this! Described on their site as “part improvised, part honed, part performance, part party,” it’s a jazz/comedy group who improvise musical comedy, turn an audience member into the star of each show, spin a giant wheel to determine what segment will appear that night and invite guest comics on the stage to perform a piece for which the band provides musical/sound effect backing.

At the end of it I felt like a little kid who’s just witnessed their calling, pointing a helpless finger at the stage and whispering to nobody in particular: “I want to do THAT.”

The fact it’s at the Spiegeltent is just the icing on the comedy cake.

It cheered me up immensely.

If it weren’t for energy drinks and Melbourne coffee, I would be in a coma right now.

Highlights of the past few days:

- undoubtedly doing a guest spot in Spanzac Ballet, a late night glam rock gig at the HiFi Festival Club last night. I sang Skyhooks. I covered my poor lyric recall with a stunning lightning bolt across my face. I then proceeded to be approached by half of Melbourne’s tipsy wildlife on the walk back to the car. It was pretty damn epic.

Lipstick. Is there anything you cannot do?

- being joined by the wondrous Ruth Sullivan to interpret two shows this weekend. I LOVE HER SO HARD!

Ruth! Melbourne! Jen! Three of a kind!

Ruth, Matt and I at The Butterfly Club. Go team!

I am so loving having these guys onboard, it really makes it feel like a SHOW, you know? Plus I have a brilliant behind-the-scenes crew of Eden (Tech) and Belle (Stage Manager). Which brings me to my next highlight…

- walking into The Butterfly Club yesterday to see Belle wearing a creation she organised all on her own volition:

HOW CUTE IS SHE?! PS That's a chuppa chup in her mouth. And again, I say HOW CUTE IS SHE?!

- still having my mind blown by the ridiculous awesome “eccentric grandma’s house” flavour that is my show’s venue, The Butterfly Club.

This is just another *yawn* typical view of any particular square foot at The Butterfly Club.

- having my hair done nightly – and me avoiding brushing it out daily – by none other than our incredible pianist, Matt Hadgraft. He really is the full service musician. I think he should start up his own freelance business offering musical accompaniment and hairstyling and it “Tease and Keys.” Amazing.

Misbeehiving.

- seeing Daniel Kitson live for the very first time ever. My mind is still reeling. I would utterly love to get my hands on a transcript of the show just so I could actually take the time to digest it properly. It seems wrong to describe such a beautiful work of language with “it was so so so good” but that’s all my little brain can muster up right now. That and “Kitsonian.” I think I’ll just stop.

My view from the top balcony.

It ain’t all peaches and Kitson, though.

I am also missing my kids ridiculously much. They are going great, but you know. I really don’t like being away for long and this year has already been insane for that. Today I visited a friend’s house and hugged her kids so much I think I started to freak them out!

One thing’s become clear to us and that is that we don’t want to keep doing it like this: being separated just sucks. That’s all.

I’m also finding the show – while I love that it’s connecting with people on a really personal level – is becoming increasingly hard to perform.

Those of you who’ve seen it know that it’s so ridiculously personal, specifically when I deal with the material about my mum’s death. And while performing it has been cathartic, I think it’s now getting to a point where it’s feeling very much like I’m opening up the same wound over and over again.

You’re either damned if you do, or damned if you don’t: you either disconnect from the emotion of it to protect yourself, in which case you’re not really feeling it and the performance suffers, or you go there for the sake of the show and then deal with the emotional side effects afterwards. All I know is that after performing the show now for nearly two months straight, I am really feeling exhausted to my core.

And now. Bed.

I finally get why they call it "teasing". Because that shizz is NASTY.

I know I sing it onstage every night, but life really is an unexpected variety show.

The shows have been mostly beautiful – opening night was solid, despite a couple of tech hitches, second night just popped big-time (wish to heavens I’d had the sense to make that one my media night, as we’d sorted out some of the teething issues from the night before! My bad, I’ve learned a good lesson though!) but tonight, complete with six audience members (two of whom were a fellow performer and staff member at The Butterfly Club respectively) and so many tech hitches it kinda seemed like we’d scripted them in, combined with my lack of focus – having heard some truly devastating news of a friend of mine shortly before showtime – meant tonight kinda sucked. Totally blame myself for just not being able to get my head in the game. It’s all good, tomorrow is another day.

On the plus side, somebody brought me flowers…

These darlings greeted me backstage on Opening Night! Thanks to my friend Lou!

…and I’m getting some very nice reviews, from the Herald Sun, Australian Stage and Stage Whispers thus far.

Have been spending solid amounts of time at the Festival Club late at night, which has been super fun. Also have caught a few shows to make a dint in my very long wish list, thus far have included:

- Xavier Toby’s Binge Thinking. I first met Xavier at Woodford Folk Fest when he jumped up for a guest spot and nailed it, his show involves puppetry of an impressive array of alcohol bottles playing people. It’s funny and indeed, makes you THINK!
- Simon Taylor’s 10 Things I Know About You, also on at the incredible Butterfly Club. The guy is super mart, dances like a mo-fo – he’s made me feel rather insecure about my own boogying skills, a feat which none before him have achieved – and even spins you out at the end. Nice.
- Candy B’s Bootylicious. Seriously, cannot recommend this show more highly. I want my daughter to see it. I want every woman I know to see it. I want ME to see it again! I walked out feeling freaking proud of my body, what can I say? She is amazing.

This morning saw me bound out of bed at the not-so-indecent time of 8.30 for my first radio interview here in Melbs, with the lovely Richard Watts on 4RRR.

Triple R for a radio interview this morning!

Then I hightailed it up to the incredible Yarra Ranges to meet up with my former schoolfriend, fellow performer and now resident of this incredibly gorgeous area, Sar Collins. She is an amazing photographer, by the way, among her many talents, you can check her stuff out over here.

The girl spoiled me rotten, taking me on a driving tour/cafe crawl through the stunning sights of the area, with highlights vising possibly the best kids shop I have ever seen in my life (I believe I audibly gasped when I walked through its doors), eating lentil soup outdoors in a cafe/restaurant that felt like a castle and eating scones with jam and cream at a delicious forest-nestled cafe. AMAZING day.

For real. You can book one. Dinner and a reading! My mind fell off.

Funky cafe in Kallista!

The nice side of touring, to be sure!

More soon. Hope you are well!

xxx

Spotted on a jukebox at the Exford Hotel last night!

The past two days have comprised rehearsing, tech running, catching up with comedy friends, performing in as many guest spots as I can get my hot little hands on and walking the entire width of Melbourne.

The collection of MICF posters from years gone by in the Festival office.

Opening night tonight! I’m off to run some last minute errands, indulge myself with a massage to sort out this aching back of mine before tonight’s onstage hamminess and then BRING IT!

x